Chapter 26

Act IV: Billy Elliot (7)

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"Hello? Can you hear me clearly?"

When the voice call was connected, Xiang Cai suddenly didn't know what he should say.

He sat there in a daze, with a hot phone next to his ear.

In the receiver, the voice of his male god was heard.

"Hey, guess, what’s going on?" Wang Qingyun's voice was low and pleasant. Even after reprocessed by the radio waves, it couldn't hide his tenderness. "Is it about your study, or family, or something else?"

"..." The boy's small adam’s apple moved, "Everything." He whispered, "My life is a mess."

"Don't worry," the man comforted him. "Even if everything is messy, just look for the tip of the thread. As long as you find that ‘tip of the thread’, you can straighten it out step by step, then things will be much clearer.”

Tip of the thread ...

Xiang Cai’s eyelashes drooped and his eyes fell to his feet.

He always knew where the ‘tip of the thread’ was, but this tip was a dead knot, an unsolvable thread that could never be straightened out. It existed forever so that everyone could not ignore it.

Xiang Cai sometimes wondered, why didn’t the car accident take him away directly? Taking his life was better than just taking his feet.

At least if it took away his life, he wouldn't see others pity. He had no idea where his gambler parents had fled; his teachers and classmates were sad for him but after a while they can get out of those shadows. As for his life debt, it could be completely detected by the police uncle.

But he was alive and could witness—everyone handling him carefully, as if he was a porcelain bottle that would break when the wind blew.

He moved his ankle.

As a dancer, he was familiar with every muscle and every inch of bone in his body. He knew how he used to be, with flexible ankles and beautiful insteps that could support his body.

But now, not only does his ankle have a limited range of motion, it hurts on every rainy day.

He was like the little mermaid. A little mermaid without a prince waiting for him to wake up with a kiss, but still stepping on the blade and broken glass.

Xiang Cai didn't say a word, just silently, silently examined his feet.

He didn't speak, and on the other side of the ocean, the other was quietly and patiently waiting.

The boy's shallow breathing sound came from the receiver, as if it would disappear at any moment.

Somehow, Tan Yiming was a little worried about him.

Although he and guess chatted many times, their conversations were never deep and rarely involved real life. Tan Yiming always wanted to distinguish his identity from two and three-dimension. He hid himself very tightly and was not interested in the real-life of others.

But now, he regretted it a little bit—if he could understand guess more, he could help him at this time.

"Are you still there?" Tan Yiming asked.

It had been quiet for a long time.

"Yes." The boy's voice was clear yet fuzzy, “Still here."

Tan Yiming said: "If you want to talk about your troubles, I'm here right now and can help you analyze them." He took on the role of an elder and said, "Well, I am a few years older than you, as long as you don't dislike the nosy me, Wang Qingyun Psychological Office always opens the door for student guess. "

"... Cai Cai." [T/N: Guess, but in Chinese this time.]

There was a strange word at the other end of the radio wave.

"What?" Tan Yiming asked. "Cai Cai?"

"Well." The boy said softly, "Don't call me guess, call me Cai Cai."

Cai Cai.

A weird, interesting, name.

The two extremely simple words rolled in Tan Yiming's throat. The tip of his tongue propped up on his two rows of teeth, and a popping sound appeared. Two identical Chinese characters were repeated twice—Cai Cai, "Cai Cai".

Tan Yiming suddenly laughed: "Cai Cai, is this your real name? It's funny."

The man shouted again: "Cai Cai."

"En, I'm here."

"Cai Cai."

"That’s me."

"Cai Cai ..." Tan Yiming whispered softly, as if he was singing a lullaby to a lamb. "If I call you Cai Cai, will you be happy?”

"Yes," said the boy on the other end of the phone. "I haven't been this happy in a long time."

This nickname only existed when he was very young. Before he was five years old, he briefly had a harmonious family. Even if his family didn’t have much money, since his father was kind and loving, life had a way forward.

But he didn’t know when the endless quarrels between his parents started. His mother cried and cried and said, “Cai Cai, if it wasn’t for you, your mother would have left this very poor house.” His father sighed, shaking his head, and said: Cai Cai, you are the pride of the old Xiang household. You must not be lax, you have to get ahead.”

Later, Cai Cai seemed to be a name that made the poor couple feel miserable.

He thought that as long as he danced well, made a name for himself, and made money, then his parents wouldn’t quarrel. 

Therefore, he worked hard and was admitted to Huawu with the highest score in the department, and afterwards he had never slacked off for even a moment. Just laugh at him with Xuedu, saying that he was either in a race, or on his way to the race. He didn't know how many awards he won, and how many stacks of prizes he took back, finally bringing back the smile of his parents. Then, both of his parents became addicted to gambling, and his life fell into hell. His parents would never again hug him or call him Cai Cai.

Later, when he overcame difficulties, rehabilitated successfully, and finally stood up without crutches, he didn't feel any joy.

Nor did he feel joy when the police task force finally wiped out the gang of evil forces, sending the culprit to prison, using the information he himself provided.

And now ... when Xiang Cai heard "Cai Cai", from the lingering voice through the headphones, the voice that was often in his dreams, he burst into tears.

He was only a 17 years old adolescent child who had not yet left school.

He didn't want to experience this at all. He only wanted to be born into the most ordinary family. He wanted to be able to step on the stage with the support and blessings of his family, laughing, jumping, and singing.

While holding onto his cell phone, Xiang Cai silently, sorrowfully cried.

His subtle breathing changes and the sound of his nose sniffing from time to time caught Tan Yiming’s attention.

"Are you crying?" Tan Yiming asked with concern.

"No." Xiang Cai was stubborn. "I just, my nose is a little uncomfortable." However, his throat cavity had exposed everything.

Tan Yiming kindly did not expose his lies. Because when he was young, he too had experienced unthinkable times, and tears were the only way to vent.

Tan Yiming calmed him quietly: "Cai Cai, I don't know what happened to you. If you don't want to say anything, you can say nothing, and I won't ask."

He paused, and continued, "But I want to say that the Cai Cai I know is a person who has worked hard and earnestly. No matter what kind of predicament is before you, I believe that you can definitely overcome it."

"Don’t—!"

Unexpectedly, Xiang Cai interrupted him.

— "You believe in me, why do you believe in me?"

Xiang Cai, are you crazy, why did you say that?

— "My teacher, my doctor, my classmates, no one believes me, why do you believe me?"

Xiang Cai, shut up, hurry up and shut up.

— "Even I don't believe in myself, why do you believe in me?"

Xiang Cai, why are you expressing such negative emotions to Wang Qingyun? These negative emotions were like a sharp knife, piercing them both at the same time.

——Xiang Cai heard his voice echo in the small space. The voice was very small, as small as an illusion that appeared in his mind: "... When a swan loses its wings, do you really believe that it can continue to fly? "

The next second, Xiang Cai, who had been crying to the point of collapse, hung up the phone, curled up, and slipped to the ground.

What did he do ... what exactly did he do?

His beloved idol comforted him, and even sacrificed his time off to make the overseas calls with him. He obviously should sincerely thank Wang Qingyun for this, instead of pouring out his pain to the other side like he was crazy.

Who was Wang Qingyun? It was his idol, the goal he pursued! ... Not his relative, not his friend, not his lover, not an object he could spoil wantonly.

He really ... he was really trash. When the outer shell of his pride was shattered, the Xiang Cai hiding in the shell was actually sensitive and vulnerable.

The burden on him was too heavy. He cared too much about other people's opinions, and only pretended to be comfortable at any time and on any occasion.

And just now, just a few minutes ago, he actually used those kinds of irrational words to question the person he cared about most!

The cell phone in his pocket kept vibrating but Xiang Cai didn't dare to look at it.

He was afraid that Wang Qingyun would scold him for not knowing good and bad, and was even more afraid of Wang Qingyun ending their relationship because of his outburst.

He walked out of the men's bathroom stupidly, and stupidly walked back to the classroom.

The teacher on the podium asked him where he had gone and why he missed most of the class.

Xiang Cai didn't answer, but his face was so bad that the teacher thought he was not feeling well, so he hurried sent him back to the dormitory to rest.

Xiang Cai agreed softly.

Some classmates offered to send him back, but he politely declined, he could do it alone.

Then, the extremely proud and extremely low-self-esteemed boy, with the whole class watching, straightened his back and slowly walked out of the classroom.

...

On the way back to the dormitory building, Xiang Cai passed the vocal classroom on the first floor.

In fact, Huawu Academy covered a very small area. There were six grades, with six departments and six classes in each grade. There were 30 people in one class, plus faculty and staff. Only one teaching building was needed for it to flourish.

Huawu Academy was famous for dance, so there were many dance classrooms in the teaching building, but there was only one vocal classroom.

The windows of the vocal classroom were not shut tightly, and there was a faint piano sound flowing out.

Xiang Cai recognized the melody of the song.

It was “Electricity".

It was the most brilliant, most inspiring, and also the most tear-jerking theme song in the entire musical Out of My World.

According to the plot, the leading actor, young Billy, took the ballet school's selection test under his father's guidance. However, he failed to meet the requirements because of insufficient preparation.

The moment he stepped out of the classroom, the interview teacher stopped him and asked him a question.

——”Billy, how do you feel when you dance?”

Xiang Cai unknowingly stopped.

This question they were asking Billy, Cai Cai asked himself. 

What did he feel when he was dancing? ...

In the vocal classroom, those good seedlings that had been screened and were successful to here, were facing their final assessment.

In the chairs in front of them, there was the director, producer, and screenwriter of Out of My World. They had serious expressions, because tomorrow, they would leave Huawu Academy. Today was the last round of assessments and from these children, they would choose the Billy Elliot they had in mind.

They were so serious that the few students standing by the piano were nervous.

They were high-level students in the Ballet Department, and they had to take a month of vocal lessons. No one knew which one of them would finally stand on the stage.

Everyone hoped that they could be the chosen leading actor.

The accompaniment of "Electricity" wafted outdoors.

The director picked up the script, and read the line aloud, acting for them: "Billy, what do you feel when you dance?"

The first student took a step, took a tense breath, and sang the first sentence tremblingly.

No one noticed that, on the lawn just outside the windowsill, a boy stood there stupidly, humming the song softly to the accompanying music—

"I can't really explain it

I haven't got the words

It's a feeling that you can't control

I suppose it's like forgetting, losing who you are

And at the same time something that makes you whole.”

Xiang Cai had asked this question to himself countless times.

What was ballet to him? Was it a prop to earn awards, a medium to win glory for parents, or ... or was it something he loved deeply from the heart?

Ballet was called art by others, but for Xiang Cai, it was not art, it was his life.

"It's a bit like being angry

It's a bit like being scared

Confused and all mixed up and mad as hell

It's like when you've been crying

And you're empty and you're full

I don't know what it is, it's hard to tell."

As far as outsiders were concerned, many people thought that men who danced ballet were somewhat feminine. But what about it? Ballet was not just for anyone, but for those people who loved and understood it..

Some danced because it brings them happiness.

And indeed, Cai Cai was happy when he danced.

"It's like that there's a music playing in your ear

And I'm listening, and I'm listening and then I disappear

And then I feel a change

Like a fire deep inside

Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide

And suddenly I'm flying, flying like a bird

Like electricity, electricity

Sparks inside of me

And I'm free I'm free."

The reason why Xiang Cai turned to the Musical Theater Department was because he didn't want to forget his dream.

He wanted to be on the stage and show his love to everyone in the world.

... But he had no chance.

Xiang Cai’s singing gradually faded away. He clearly wanted to leave before the curtain call.

What was the point of continuing singing and dancing?

He couldn’t, he couldn’t at all. If he stood on that stage, he would humiliate himself. What if he fell in front of the whole audience?

In the classroom, the candidate was getting better. At first, his vocal cords were a little tight, but he gradually relaxed as he sang.

Xiang Cai knew him—that boy was a very energetic boy in the next door Ballet Department. Many people were preaching that he had already assumed the role.

Xiang Cai raised to his tiptoes to give him one last look, before forcing himself to turn away. He thought that giving up now was the most respectable decision.

The music was still lingering behind him, but Xiang Cai had no energy to sing.

A step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

The cell phone in his pocket suddenly vibrated again.

Xiang Cai was stunned, and his intuition made him pull out his phone.

The screen lit up, and a string of unexpected text appeared in the dialog box—

Yiming Qingyun: Sorry, I’m not good at comforting people, it seemed I've made you sadder.

Yiming Qingyun: Everyone has negative emotions, it doesn't matter if you vent to me.

Yiming Qingyun: You don't need to be embarrassed.

Yiming Qingyun: I haven't answered your last question.

Yiming Qingyun: You asked me, if a swan loses its wings, can it still fly?

Yiming Qingyun: I thought about it. If the swan loses its wings, it will fall from the sky, fall into the pond, and become an ugly duckling.

Yiming Qingyun: But the ugly duckling is destined to become a white swan.

Xiang Cai couldn't help but burst into tears.

He turned sharply and ran towards the vocal classroom.

Closer, closer, the floating piano accompaniment became more clear, and an uncontrollable urge erupted from his chest.

He wanted to sing, he wanted to jump, he wanted to get on that stage!

No one could take that decision away from him!

"It's like that there's a music playing in your ear

But the music is impossible, impossible to hear

But then I feel it move me

Like a burning deep inside

Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide"

He completely forgot himself, singing loudly, no longer suppressing himself. He stormed into the teaching building and let his singing echo through the corridor.

He knew that it was still class time. He blatantly violated school rules to make ‘noise’, maybe he would be punished tomorrow.

But he was not afraid, he was not afraid of anything.

He continued singing.

"And suddenly I'm flying, flying like a bird

Like electricity, electricity

Sparks inside of me

And I'm free—

I'm free!!!"

Xiang Cai finally ran to the entrance of the vocal classroom. He sang loudly just now, interrupting the selection in the classroom and drawing everyone's attention.

When the vocal teacher hurriedly opened the door, the panting boy was standing just outside with eyes shining brightly like stars in the sky.

He looked at the teacher and looked into the vocal classroom - the ballet boys waiting for the final assessment, and the producer, director, and screenwriter sitting opposite them.

His chest was undulating violently. The running and singing just now brought a great burden to his body. Sweat slipped from his forehead, but he did not show a trace of fatigue.

"Report!" He cried, “Xiang Cai, a seventh-grade student from the Musical Theatre Department, applying for male lead role!!"

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The author has something to say: The lyrics of the song "Electricity" appearing in this chapter are translated by me based on the English lyrics!

There is a certain deviation from the original lyrics, and the paragraph order has been adjusted!!!

It is adapted for Chinese rhyme to enhance the plot.

Recommend everyone to listen to the original!

If you can spare five minutes, I recommend you to search for the video on Station B. Little Billy is really dazzling on the stage!

(I beg you to watch this video, I really finished this chapter while listening to this video, especially to enhance the atmosphere!!!)

The full name of the play is "Billy Elliot / Out of my world / Boy in ballet shoes", the full play can be found at Station B!!!

[T/N: Here. His accent is amazing.]

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