Chapter 51

Act VII: Fan Letter (3)

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Tan Yiming's understanding of musicals was pretty close to nothing. However, because he often dubbed movies, he had seen many musical movies.

In recent years, the country had introduced musical movies more frequently. Even in animated films made for children, the protagonist had to sing and dance. It was a pity that Tan Yiming was born with incomplete five-tones. Every time he dubbed this type of film, he needed a special singer to accompany him and be responsible for singing publicly for the protagonist.

After he learned that Xiang Cai was actually a musical actor, Tan Yiming felt it was unexpected.

But remembering all the details when he was chatting with Guess five years ago, in fact, it could have been seen.

The Guess at that time was a "pop song insulator". Every time he sang a song at a festival, it was a musical score. If he was not related to this profession, it would probably not be so familiar to him.

It was just that Tan Yiming was so careless at that time, and he didn't notice the truth that the boy tried to cover up.

Tan Yiming had too many questions and was too curious about Xiang Cai.

He desperately wanted to know him, to understand the bits and pieces of the past five years that Xiang Cai had experienced alone.

Think of it ... from the standpoint of a friend.

Taking advantage of being his own boss, he openly deserted his working responsibilities.

He went and searched for the musical, Fan Letter, which Xiang Cai starred in at the age of 20.

Unfortunately, there was no full version of the official musical on the Internet. He could only piece together the appearance of 20-year-old Xiang Cai through a few drafts and a few behind-the-scenes interviews.

This was a work that came out of a small theater in South Korea. When it was played in South Korea, it was well-received. After being reproduced into the Chinese version, it attracted countless musical actors.

Xiang Cai’s ability to stand out from so many candidates was an inspirational story.

Although the musical theatre industry was also part of the entertainment industry, it still had a very different mode of operation than the entertainment industry.

Unlike ordinary artists, many of the musical actors had not signed a contract with a company, and naturally there was no agent or propaganda team to handle the work for them. Most of them did it alone, and when they saw that a certain musical theatre crew was recruiting actors, submitted their resumes to audition. After passing the audition, it took months of rehearsals before performing on stage.

If the cooperation went smoothly and the performer worked hard, they would have "put their name" on the director’s and the producer's hearts. When there was any good script and role next time, they would be given first preference to audition.

Twenty-year-old Xiang Cai was only a freshman who had just stepped into the university gates. After learning about the selection from his teacher, he submitted his resume to audition.

What a coincidence, the producer of this musical was actually the director Tang Fengyu, Xiang Cai had once met!

In front of the computer, Tan Yiming opened the interview with the director released by a certain media—

—Director Tang Fengyu once directed the Chinese version of Out of My World. When talking about Xiang Cai, who was a leading male actor for the first time, he was full of praise.

"Actually, I met Xiang Cai when he was seventeen years old. At that time, I thought that the child had a very good aura. I didn't expect that his growth would bring me such a big surprise after just three years. When he came to audition, I immediately decided that he would play Shixun.

...

Originally, the investor’s side strongly disagreed. They felt that Xiang Cai was too young and did not have a reliable history. They were worried that he would fall off the chain when he came to power.

...

I also called Old Song and asked him to help me. During that time, Old Song was in poor health and was resting at home. He is not the producer of this drama. This matter had nothing to do with him, but he agreed as soon as he heard Xiang Cai’s name.

...

This work has been performed hundreds of times in South Korea. The copyright owner specifically flew over from South Korea to see the premiere of the Chinese version. After watching it, everyone was moved by Xiang Cai’s performance.

...

Xiang Cai’s performance was very exciting. He expressed a fan’s various emotions when facing an idol, to its fullest.

At first, it was just a simple worship and infatuation with his idol. Later, in order to get closer to his idol, he made up some lies which resulted in continuous suffering and guilt.

Sometimes I don't think he is acting as the character, but acting as himself.

"... "

Seeing this, Tan Yiming rolled his mouse down a bit, feeling sour in his heart.

He watched several long commentaries from the audience members one after another, and finally pieced together the plot of this work.

Fan Letter was a musical that told a story between a fan and an idol: a young boy admired a novelist, so he fabricated a female identity and wrote letters to the novelist. In the process, the novelist unknowingly fell in love with this false but perfect woman. The boy fell into this lie and wanted to confess many times, but couldn't because of cowardice.

In the end, the boy revealed the painful truth and there was no happy ending. The novelist died in sorrow because of tuberculosis.

Before he died, the novelist left a letter to the male fan, which read:

— "No matter who the owner of these letters is, I can't help but fall in love with them."

— "We will eventually indulge in different forms of love."

Tan Yiming was very, very touched by the story, and really wanted to watch this musical. Unfortunately, there was no official recording of the whole musical on the Internet. He looked for it, but came across a recording snuck live from an audience member.

The theater did not allow video recording, and who knew what method the audience member used to secretly record the last song sung by the actor.

The camera shook. The boy's expression seemed haggard; he appeared to be alone at the novelist’s funeral.

He stood in the middle of the empty house and opened a letter in silence.

The spotlight on the top of the stage spilled on him, and he stood under the only bright light source, his sad expression touching all.

The boy unfolded the letter and sang softly in a longing tone—

— "Even if no one blesses my love,

My spring is still beautiful.

The broken heart,

Covered with warm sunlight.

Everyone says that after time passes,

Everything will be better.

But why am I still unable to overcome that injury?

Everyone says that after time passes,

I will just forget about it.

But no matter how hard I try, I can't forget you. "

It seemed to be more than a boy worshiping his idol?

What he commemorated was the love buried deep in his heart, that he couldn’t say in the end.

The music reached its climax, and the piano and the string tuned the atmosphere to its zenith.

"It’s like I’m living in a crack,

Like grass living in admiration of the sun.

When my love had gone,

My youth also passed away.

...

Right now,

I can finally tell my spring,

—Goodbye."

The lens had soon focused, and the tears in Xiang Cai’s eyes were clearly visible.

There were quiet weeping sounds in the background, and the person recording the video was crying until their hands shook.

Xiang Cai performed too well and sang too well. His grief was not exposed, but locked tightly in his slender body. His shoulders were trembling, but the tears in his eyes did not fall. Only the crying voice in his song leaked his sadness.

Xiang Cai was an excellent actor. In his live performance he touched every audience member in the theater many years after the video was recorded, he touched Tan Yiming. 

Tan Yiming sat blankly in front of the computer, quietly admiring him while every word that Xiang Cai had sung still echoing in his ear.

On the computer screen, after the video finished playing, it automatically jumped to the next one.

The second video was a behind-the-scenes interview of Fan Letter.

In the camera, the boy sat restrainedly on the sofa. He held a microphone with a large logo in his hand, and was still wearing his costume from the play.

He looked very shy, and every time after answering a reporter's question, he quickly squinted and looked away, moving his gaze to the glass of water in front of him like a timid animal.

The female reporter was older than him, spoke fast, and had sufficient experience; she was firmly in control of the rhythm. Fortunately, she didn't ask any questions that were too difficult to answer. The boy wiped sweat from his forehead, and his pair of watery eyes stared at her.

"Ah," The female reporter joked, "Xiang Cai, don't look at me with such pitiable eyes, the end of the interview has not yet come .... Now, there is one last question left, you will be sent back after answering it."

Xiang Cai asked for mercy: "Next time there’s an interview, you should talk to Director Tang directly. I really don't know what to say."

"This question is related to Director Tang."

"What?"

The female reporter looked at the inscription card in her hand, and read the above question: "During our interview with Director Tang, he commented this about you—'Xiang Cai is a very spirited and hard-working young actor. He played this role very vividly. I sometimes feel that he is not acting as the character, but acting as himself.’ What do you think about this evaluation?"

"..." The expression on the boy’s face suddenly froze.

Even if the conversation was only recorded, Tan Yiming could see it clearly capture the loneliness that flashed in Xiang Cai’s eyes.

Xiang Cai was too young. He was only 20 years old when he starred in this musical; he had no experience in dealing with the media at all. He appeared alone under the camera, and no one was there to relieve him from this pressure.

Tan Yiming looked anxiously at Xiang Cai on the screen, and wished to travel a few years back and be a tower of support for the boy.

... After a few seconds, or maybe many seconds, the Xiang Cai in the lens finally spoke.

"Director Tang was right." He smiled a fleeting smile. "Because I really did act as myself.

"I used to do the same silly things as the character in the play when I was worshipping a distant idol.

"In the beginning, I just thought about being able to pass on my voice to him; but after I passed it on, I wanted to get to know him; after getting to know him, I was not satisfied and wanted to be friends with him ...

"But I'm too small. It’s like in the song. I’m a grass that grows in the corner and adores the sunlight. I had to make up one lie after another to make myself worthy of him, to stand beside him and become his friend."

No—that was not it!

Tan Yiming wanted to tell him loudly, that in his heart, Guess was never a little grass. He was a proud little swan. If there was one person in this world who could touch the sun, it must be him who would fly high.

He didn't understand where Xiang Cai’s low self-esteem came from, he was such an excellent person.

The recorded interview was still going on. The female reporter did not expect that for such a simple question, she would get such a profound answer.

The female reporter asked, "What about now? How is your relationship with your idol now?"

Xiang Cai chuckled, his eyes relieved: "I haven't contacted him for a long time."

"Don’t you regret it?"

"Of course I regret it." Xiang Cai said, "I was young and felt that I was not good in this aspect, not good in that aspect. I was not worthy of being friends with my idol. But now that I’m grown up, I find that I am actually not as unbearable as I imagined, and I'm also very good—otherwise, Director Tang wouldn't have let me be the male lead, right? "

Xiang Cai laughed: "But the past is in the past. Although I still miss him now, who can say what will happen in two or three years?"

"If I can meet him again someday in the future, I hope—" The boy in the camera concluded the interview with the lyrics, "—I can say goodbye to my spring."

...

Tan Yiming, sitting in front of his dimmed computer, fell into a depression that was beyond words.

He found that—

When he missed Xiang Cai’s spring, Xiang Cai had found a new summer.

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The author has something to say: This is a story about Xiang Cai and Tan Yiming. Even if there are many twists and turns on the way, this is still their story after all.

Will not change the CP.

If readers really cannot accept Xiang Cai socializing with other people, I also respect your emotional cleanliness, and thank you for your company along the way.

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What's more: Because there is currently no Chinese musical of Fan Letter, the lyrics in the text are modified based on the translation of the Taiwan YouTuber @光.

On the channel, you can find the Chinese translation of two songs from Fan Letter.

One is called "Letter from Haizhen"

One is called "When I Die" (the one that Xiang Cai sang)

Big tears.

***

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