Chapter 77

Act X: Singing in the Rain (2)

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In the middle of the night, the pop star Chen Ziran had fallen asleep for less than half an hour when he was awakened by a frantic call from his friend.

"Xiang — Cai!!!" Chen Ziran yelled. Before he opened his eyes, he was already spreading curses. "Did you know that I’ve only slept three hours each day this week? Did you know that I am only 23 years old, but I already have crow's feet near my eyes? Did you know that I ran to over 50 shows today?? Do you know what time it is now???"

"..." Soft words came from his friend on the other end of the phone, "That...I was kissed by someone."

Chen Ziran was so sleepy that he mumbled: “Kiss, embrace; when you’re acting on stage, how can you not be kissed or hugged by someone?"

"Not a co-actor... it was my landlord."

Chen Ziran immediately sobered up and sat up in bed: "Your landlord??? Your landlord sexually harassed you???"

"No, no, it wasn’t sexual harassment," Xiang Cai quickly denied it on the other end of the phone. "We were watching a movie at home tonight, and then I was confused... and kissed him."

Chen Ziran relievedly laid down on his bed again, feeling sad: "Oh, you were confused and delirious, half pushing him away and half pulling him closer. One can only blame the moonlight for being so beautiful, you are not to blame."

Xiang Cai whispered, "But after the kiss, he didn't say anything, and just went to sleep in his own room."

Chen Ziran sat up again and said, "F*ck, that scumbag!! Only responsible for flirting, not for extinguishing the fire after kissing - is he even human?"

"No, no, I'm completely to blame." Xiang Cai turned off the light and buried himself in his quilt to prevent the moon from exposing his flushed cheeks. "The atmosphere was pretty good at the time. I was so dazed by him that when I felt his hand dig into the hem of my clothes, my whole body went stiff in shock. His expression at the time was honestly...I couldn’t even tell. His eyes were very complicated when he looked at me. Then, he whispered sorry, rearranged my clothes, and left."

Chen Ziran let out a long sigh and laid down again: "No, what the hell am I doing? Why am I listening to a gay guy telling me the story of him and his landlord getting gay at two o'clock in the morning?"

Chen Ziran asked again: "By the way, before you moved in, did you know that your landlord was gay? I remember you''ve said that your house was very cheap. Was it because he was plotting after your beauty that he let your rent be so low at that time?"

"He's not that kind of person!" Xiang Cai immediately clarified. He acknowledged his own shortcomings, but couldn’t listen to him say bad things about others. "I met him a long time ago, but I never knew that he also liked men. We lived together for so long and he took special care of me, so I noticed that he might like me. However, I couldn’t believe it before, and I thought I was thinking too much, but now..."

However, yesterday, they had kissed.

It was a kiss that the 17-year-old Xiang Cai had longed for, but when it did happen, the 23-year-old Xiang Cai didn't know how to face it.

Shyness, tension, resistance, longing, attachment, yearning... These countless different feelings caused the little swan to lose his way.

Chen Ziran was very curious: "You said you met a long time ago. How long is this 'long'?"

"Five years." Xiang Cai replied, "I was in a bad mood when I had just switched to the song and dance major. He accompanied me through my lowest points.... Actually, you know my landlord. Remember when I came to your show? He is Tan Yiming who did the PK with you."

"Shit?!!!" Chen Ziran sat up again, this time completely awake, even feeling as though he had never been more awake than now. "Xiang Cai, you are really my elder brother! How much more do you have to say? Can you please finish it all at once? Time is of the essence, don’t you know that I’ve done three sit-ups in bed just now?"

"..."

There was no other way, Xiang Cai could only pour out everything that had happened between him and Tan Yiming under the urging of Chen Ziran.

As he spoke, he reminisced. He was not only narrating past events, but also sorting out his elusive mood.

He had experienced too many things in his short 20 years of life. He had thought that the past five years had faded in his heart; but it was only now that he discovered he could remember all the parts related to Tan Yiming so clearly.

Xiang Cai was a person who didn’t like sensationalism, except when it came to his job. He used the calmest tone to tell the story of him and Tan Yiming; even so, when he concluded, the listener Chen Ziran was actually crying.

"What are you waiting for?" Chen Ziran wiped away his tears. "You two are 'destined to be gay’. You have the ability to live under the same roof as your first love from five years ago. This must be placed in the hands of a screenwriter, they’ll be able to write at least fifty episodes!"

"...Because I am afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I remember telling you when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend that I didn’t want to fall in love anytime soon." Xiang Cai said softly, "At that time, Manchuan and I really liked each other, but for a relationship, it is not enough to like. We didn’t make it to the end due to our various differences."

"..."

"So I'm really scared. I'm afraid I can't see my true desires, and I’m mistaking Tan Yiming for a healing tool; I'm afraid Tan Yiming will find that the guess he had been looking for for the past five years is just a dummy he'd made up in his head - I am not as good as the one in ten thousand he'd imagined; I am even more afraid that our love will eventually become a short fireworks show, brilliant and beautiful for a moment, and then it will disappear into the night sky."

Xiang Cai had lost a lot of things in his lifetime. He lost his parental affection, his healthy body, ballet, and relationships.

Therefore, he understood the pain of loss.

Therefore, he was more afraid of ‘losing again’ than anyone.

"Ziran, you say it, what should I do?" Xiang Cai asked in a low voice, "My heart beats quickly when I recall that kiss even now. Is this a dream come true? Can I...even have such an embrace in my dream?"

Xiang Cai didn't know that when he was confiding his troubles to his friend under the covers, Tan Yiming stood outside his bedroom door and listened quietly.

Tan Yiming held a cup of steaming milk in his hand, to aid him in sleeping. He originally wanted to apologize for his abruptness, but unexpectedly, he heard the conversation between Xiang Cai and his friend.

The boy's crisp voice wafted out from the crack of the door, mixing with the aroma of the milk.

When Tan Yiming heard Xiang Cai say that he had broken up with Manchuan, his heart was immediately filled with joy. But when he heard Xiang Cai say that he was afraid of a new relationship, the man's heart sank again.

He didn’t blame Xiang Cai for his cowardice - he was patient enough to wait for his swan to fly to him.

...

The days after that seemed to return to calm again.

It was just that this calm was an illusion deliberately created by the two people. They ate together as usual, and went to the supermarket together as usual. Tan Yiming would drive Xiang Cai to the rehearsal hall before going to work, and at night, the two would sit in the living room and watch a movie.

But something had quietly changed.

Whenever their gazes crossed, there seemed to be a fire burning in their eyes, and occasional physical contacts would also trigger pounding heartbeats.

The two people avoided talking about the kiss that day, but didn't think that such self-deception would last a few days.

In order to prevent himself from thinking wildly, Xiang Cai had been attending interviews for a new job. His tour with Happy Pancake had ended, and the next round of tours would be in March next year. There were several months in that gap in the middle, and of course, he couldn’t just sit and eat at home.

He was now a little bit famous in the industry, and coupled with his good personality and wide range of friends, he was often referred to crews for interviews by his friends.

There were very few actors in the musical theater industry, and most of the job opportunities were obtained by introducing each other.

It was just that several of the crews he came into contact with recently were all based on drama-musical performance, with little singing and dancing. Many musical actors would crossover and act in dramas.

Regardless of whether it was a musical or a drama, it only made a small amount of money. Everyone had a hard time. If they could take over more work, then they would naturally have to work harder.

However, Xiang Cai didn't want to play in dramas.

He appeared on the stage of musicals just to maintain his dream of dancing. He was very stubborn and wanted to devote all his limited time to the rehearsal of a musical.

However, the overall market for musicals was not big. If one wanted to be a lead or be a starring role, then there were even fewer opportunities.

Xiang Cai had been looking around unyieldingly like a headless fly. It was now winter, but he hadn't had an income for a long time.

Chen Ziran very loyally called him and asked him if he would like to play a guest role in the recent online drama he is filming. Don't look at it as being for only three episodes. In the end, he would earn more than when playing in a musical for a month.

Xiang Cai naturally refused.

Chen Ziran bitterly scolded him: "Elder brother! If you want to eat well, just do this for a month. If you don't start work in two or three months, you won't even be able to pay the rent!" He lowered his voice again, and became very gossipy, asking, "Otherwise, have you and Tan Yiming made such rapid progress that you’ve moved into the same bedroom, so you don't have to pay rent anymore?"

"...Don't talk nonsense." Xiang Cai was extremely embarrassed.

"Hey, you are really contradicting yourself." His classmate Chen Ziran naturally understood his character after so many years. "You are afraid of losing him, so you don't even dare to have him. But how long can Tan Yiming wait for you? Will you let him wait for you for another five years before you dare to take that step?"

Xiang Cai could not speak.

"Cub," Chen Ziran said, "I'm not an alarmist! Tan Yiming is in good condition now. If you wait with such hesitation, all I can do is hope you don’t hesitate until its too late. Tan Yiming will think you are leaving him hanging, turning your head and running away with someone else!"

Xiang Cai panicked, and he hurriedly said: "I’m not leaving him hanging. I am—"

"—You just have no sense of security!" Chen Ziran said. "You’re worried about what to do if you break up before you are even together. Why don't you change your mind and think about ‘how can I prevent breaking up after I'm with him'?"

After talking with Chen Ziran, Xiang Cai seemed to have figured out something.

It was strange; he was obviously not a timid person, but every time he faced such a conversation, he was always looking forward and backward, really enacting the poem—"Love is a hand that wants to touch and withdraw".

...

Xiang Cai was confused when it came to love, but when it came to work, his luck had risen.

A few days later, Xiang Cai received a call from a musical producer he had known before.

On the phone, the producer said that he was staging an original musical. He had finalized the actors six months in advance, and even delayed rehearsing until now in order to match one of the actor's schedule.

As a result, that actor suddenly quit!

"Huh?" Xiang Cai found it unbelievable, because he had also heard of that actor. He was a very dedicated senior who sang well and acted well, never putting up pretenses with anyone.

The producer bitterly explained: "He signed to a brokerage company at the beginning of the year that sent him to participate in a fully enclosed audition program. He is a good seedling, so he made it to the finals." He sighed, "When people go to high places, we shouldn’t force them to stay."

As for liquidated damages? Musical actors only earned a small four-figure salary for performing. The ten-fold penalty was just a drizzle in the eyes of other agencies.

The producer said: "Xiang Cai, I heard that you are currently free for a musical? You don't need to audition, the director and I have watched a play of yours. If you come now, we’ll sign you!"

The producer was very enthusiastic, fearing that the cooked swan would fly away.

He went on and talked about a long list of elders with certain reputations and experience in the industry to show how reliable their crew was.

But Xiang Cai was not so easily influenced.

Xiang Cai cautiously asked: "Then who is the dance director and music director?"

The final effect of a musical was not only related to the actors and director, the two art directors who directed the rehearsals were equally important.

The producer first said the name of the dance director, Lei Guan’er. He is not great, but at least he was familiar with him.

"As for the music director..." The producer coughed, "He is also very famous! He has done the soundtrack of many Hollywood movies, but this is the first time he is been responsible for producing a musical."

No matter how fancy the lead-in was, to put it bluntly, this music director was a new crossover.

"Oh? What is his name?"

"Melody Yao." The producer said, "His Chinese name is Yao Yin."

***

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