Chapter 81

Act X: Singing In the Rain (6)

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When Tan Yiming settled the bill and hurried back to the dining table, he sensitively discovered that the atmosphere between Xiang Cai and Yao Yin was a little strange.

The two had still been warm and harmonious just then, but now the atmosphere felt like a pool of stagnant water. Even if cotton dropped on it, it would sink to the bottom.

If Tan Yiming looked closely, he would find that on Xiang Cai’s face, ‘guilty conscience’ was clearly written, while Yao Yin's face was amused, as if he learned something interesting.

"It's getting late." Tan Yiming pulled Xiang Cai's arm, "We are going home."

He acted like a middle-aged man deliberately showing off his new love, with stress on the word ‘home’.

‘Home’ was a very strange word. Whenever one performed the sound, their mouth would involuntarily pull apart on both sides, forming an expression similar to a smile.

[T/N: in chinese]

Tan Yiming liked this word. Before Xiang Cai moved in, it was just a house that required him to pay the mortgage every month. Now that Xiang Cai filled it with white roses, spider plants, ceramic mugs, and old dancing shoes, it became a ‘home’.

Now, he and Xiang Cai were going home.

Tan Yiming deliberately held Xiang Cai’s hand in front of Yao Yin. He already made mental preparations. If Xiang Cai slapped away his hand, then he would treat it as ‘accidentally touching him’. He would absolutely not show the slightest reaction on his face.

But—Xiang Cai unexpectedly held the man's hand back.

He didn’t just hold his hand, but interlocked their fingers. The boy inserted his fingertips into the space between Tan Yiming's fingers, and slowly but firmly incorporated the temperature of his palm into Tan Yiming's palm.

Tan Yiming's face was calm, but if one brought a heartbeat-powered engine to him now, the speed of his heart could definitely push human technology forward.

He even wondered if all this was his own illusion. He subconsciously tightened his fingers, squeezing Xiang Cai’s hand a little and then squeezing again.

And Xiang Cai's response was to squeeze him back tightly with a heavier force.

Their palms connected and their pulses were in sync. Tan Yiming felt that his soul was fulfilled at this moment, he had never been as satisfied as he was now.

Tan Yiming didn’t know why Xiang Cai had hesitated before, but accepted his favor so suddenly now; he also didn’t know what Xiang Cai and Yao Yin had talked about in the few minutes he was gone. However, he didn’t care about those things anymore, he just wanted to go home now—to take his Cai Cai home.

Tan Yiming didn’t even remember how he said goodbye to Yao Yin.

He dazedly led Xiang Cai back to the parking lot, holding him tightly all along the way, as if he was grabbing a beautiful balloon that could fly into the sky at any time.

The snowfall grew heavier and heavier. The originally small snowflakes had turned into large tracts of snowflakes.

On the way home, many people had already, impatiently set off fireworks. Xiang Cai looked out of the car window and saw the purple, red, and golden fireworks rushing towards the sky, penetrating the snow curtain to illuminate the night sky and the way ahead.

And they drove towards the place the fireworks had risen from.

...

The living room was bright.

Tan Yiming was in such a hurry to leave the house that he had forgotten to turn off the light in the living room. The hot pot ingredients he had prepared in advance were placed on the dining table, and the vegetables were washed one by one and piled neatly on the plates. The mushroom soup base he had prepared before going out was still being stewed in the pot, which had switched to ‘keep warm’ mode. The whole room was filled with the mellow aroma of the soup.

All of this caused the whole house to be filled with the lively atmosphere of home.

When Dabao, who was sleeping in the incubator, heard the opening of the door, he lazily opened his eyes and glanced at the two owners. His long tail flicked before he plunged into sleep again.

The two squeezed into the hallway to take off their coats. Xiang Cai was afraid of the cold, so the down jacket he had bought was almost completely stuffed, causing him to look like fragrant, fluffy bread.

The soles of their feet were stained because of the snow, and the white tile floor was trampled on. Tan Yiming quickly took out a mop and wiped it clean.

Xiang Cai walked to the kitchen and saw the hot pot ingredients piled up on the table. He thought about the overwhelming dinner that he had just had in the restaurant just now, and his heart churned again.

Xiang Cai asked: "Do you want to put these dishes away?"

Tan Yiming asked him back: "Had you eaten enough in the restaurant just now?"

"..." Xiang Cai blushed and shook his head.

Tan Yiming burst into laughter, and frankly said that he was not full either.

But it was already very late. If they ate hot pot now, they would definitely be unable to sleep at night.

So Tan Yiming simply cooked some noodles in his stewed mushroom soup, topped it with beef slices, tofu, and various fish balls and shrimp balls, and then grabbed the vegetables and threw them in for decoration... In ten minutes, two bowls of steaming supper were ready.

In the middle of the night, the two of them sat side by side at the dining table, their arms rubbing, their legs rubbing...

Xiang Cai swore, this was definitely the most delicious bowl of noodles he had ever eaten in his life.

The noodles were very hot, so he blew at his food while eating.

Tan Yiming turned his head to look at him, and gradually, didn't even bother to eat the things in his bowl.

Two people, one room, three meals, four seasons. Tan Yiming knew that this was the life he longed for in his heart.

[T/N: two people, one room, three meals, four seasons = lovers (two people) who spend all day (three meals), all year (four seasons) together (one room/house), basically lifelong lovers.]

Of course Xiang Cai knew that Tan Yiming was watching him. His shyness surged up again once he remembered his bold speech in front of Yao Yin. Xiang Cai didn't dare to look back at him, and could only put the noodles in his mouth one by one. His forehead was sweating, and the tips of his ears, cheeks, and even his nose were red.

Tan Yiming teased him deliberately: "Is it so hot?"

"It's not hot." Xiang Cai stammered, "No, yes, it's too spicy."

But there was no chili in the noodles at all. He heard the saying, if the alcohol wasn’t intoxicating, everyone would still get drunk by themselves. Xiang Cai joined the new generation of believers of such a philosophy.

[T/N: if the alcohol isn’t intoxicating, everyone would still get drunk by themselves = people/someone are already dazed without drinking alcohol.]

After eating supper, Xiang Cai was about to rush back to his room.

Tan Yiming stopped him and told him to wait.

"I have a gift for you." The man said softly, "It's not valuable, but I think you can use it."

He took out a large, heavy bag that was bulging.

Xiang Cai took a look, and unexpectedly discovered that the entire bag was filled with pouches of traditional Chinese medicinal soups in plastic packaging.

Xiang Cai asked blankly: "What is this? Are they tonics?"

He felt that he was in good health and did not need to drink Chinese medicinal tonics.

"This is not for drinking," Tan Yiming laughed. "Don't you often have cold feet? There was a well-known Chinese pharmacy in the area of where I went for business. I chatted with the old doctor in the hall about your symptoms, and let him prescribe some medicine for you. There are thirty packs here, which have been boiled and filtered in advance. Soaking your feet every night in these tonics with hot water can drive away the cold and strengthen your bones."

As he said this, the man took out a pouch of medicinal tonic from his bag, held it in his hand, and said: "...I don't know your specific illness. The old doctor said to try it for a month first. If it doesn't work, he can adjust the prescription again."

Just this pack of medicinal tonic was half a catty [T/N: 0.6 lb, 0.3 kg] heavy. A full 30 packs couldn’t be brought on the plane, so Tan Yiming had to change to taking the high-speed rail and carried them back purely with his physical strength.

Tan Yiming knew in his heart that the reason for Xiang Cai’s cold feet was related to the dozen crisscrossing scars on his feet, with the longest one laying across the top of his foot. Tan Yiming couldn't imagine what Xiang Cai had experienced.

Although he couldn’t ask, he could observe. Xiang Cai was only in his early twenties, but he was extremely afraid of the cold. In the summer, even if the air conditioner wasn’t on, he had to wear socks. In the winter, he even wore two layers of woolen socks with his plush boots.

Xiang Cai loved to dance, but his feet couldn't support him as a dancer.

Tan Yiming felt sorry for him. Therefore, the man brought back these Chinese medicinal tonics from a long distance, just to relieve the pain on Xiang Cai’s feet.

When Xiang Cai received the present, there was still a dazed smile at the corner of his mouth. But when he understood the effect of these medicinal tonics, the smile on the corner of his mouth gradually disappeared.

He stared blankly at the gift in his arms. 30 pouches of medicinal tonics, 30 pouches of thick loving intentions, and 30 pouches of unspeakable care and tenderness.

Xiang Cai once thought that he could ‘look aside’ when it came to his foot injury. His rehabilitation was considered successful; he had been taking calcium supplements for these years; he also wore flip-flops like his peers in the summer;...he was no longer brooding over his injury like he had five years ago.

But at that second, when he faced the medicinal tonics, he seemed to see himself waking up and crying on that hospital bed.

It turned out... that the fragile and helpless boy of that time had never left.

...

Xiang Cai sat on the sofa with his pajamas rolled up to his calves. He carefully tested the temperature of the water in the basin. It was a bit hot, but very comfortable.

He pulled his feet out of his plush slippers, took off his furry socks, and exposed his pale feet to the light.

The medicinal tonic was added to the water in advance, and the dark brown concentrate turned into light brown. The air was filled with the smell of Chinese herbal medicines.

Tan Yiming squatted by the water basin, watching Xiang Cai's scarred feet plunge into the medicinal tonic.

"Ay..." The boy subconsciously gasped.

"Is it hot?" Tan Yiming hurriedly asked.

"It's a bit hot, but it should get better in a while." Xiang Cai was not used to being stared at by Tan Yiming, and grew a little nervous, rubbing the back of his left foot with his right foot.

But Tan Yiming misunderstood his actions. "Your wound is itchy?"

"How could that be?" Xiang Cai helplessly said, "This is an old wound from many years ago, how can it itch? In fact, you don't need to be so nervous about it, it only hurts when it rains and snows."

This was the sequelae of fractures. Even if the bones grew back well, when the weather wasn’t so good, a dull pain could be felt around the wound. Especially when it came to injuries like Xiang Cai’s, where scars crisscrossed other scars, the pain was almost like putting his feet into an ice cave, it was a chill that bit the bones.

"When it rains, snows..." Tan Yiming murmured.

—It was snowing tonight.

In the eyes of ordinary people, it was romantic for it to snow on New Year's Eve. However, for Xiang Cai, it was a torture that was imposed on his feet every second.

Tan Yiming remembered that previously, when the male lead First Love Is Now had a stage accident and Xiang Cai had flown back to Huacheng from Chengdu, it had rained heavily in Huacheng on the day of his landing. Xiang Cai didn’t even take a minute to rest once getting to the theater. After putting on his makeup, he hurried on stage, sang and danced for another two hours, and finally had to perform the very dangerous lift...

Tan Yiming asked him: "How did you persevere? Doesn’t it hurt?"

"It hurts, of course it hurts." Xiang Cai smiled, "But the more it hurts, the more I get used to it."

He was like the little mermaid whose footsteps were as painful as if she was walking on knives. He was used to smiling through the pain.

Tan Yiming's adam apple rolled and he let out a heavy choking sound.

"Do you know how many bones there are in a person's foot?" The boy lowered his eyes and looked at his feet calmly. He bent down and put his palm into the medicinal tonic. He answered his own question: "26."

The medicinal soup was translucent and light brown, so the boy's finger that slowly rested on the longest scar on his right foot could be seen.

Xiang Cai’s finger pressed against the second metatarsal bone. "It had been broken into three parts here."

Then there was the instep. "There are two steel nails here."

Then came the heel. "Here was a comminuted fracture of my root bone, but the doctor only picked the slag for a long time."

His hand moved up slowly again, and landed on his ankle: "The calluses here are very thick, but it still stings when the weather is cold."

In the end, his hand encircled his ankle, and his thumb rubbed his Achilles tendon: "The operation at this position was performed two times. The first failed, and the second helped me stand up again."

This was the first time he had mentioned his past to others. He thought he would cry and his teeth would chatter... but no, nothing.

He used a calm tone, as calm as if he was telling someone else's story.

He talked a lot. He talked about his family full of quarrels, about his parents who owed gambling debts, about the car that hit him and repeatedly ran over his feet.

He was once the pride of the school. He was affectionately called the little prince of ballet by his classmates, but once he woke up from the hospital bed, he had lost everything.

That year, Xiang Cai fell from the sky to the bottom of the valley. He was obviously a swan that could fly into the sky, but he had forgotten how to flap his wings.

Tan Yiming looked at Xiang Cai's face and wanted to wipe his tears for him, only to find that it was he himself who was crying.

He wondered if he had done something wrong; he shouldn't have given the gift so rashly and provoked the boy's painful memories.

"When I switched to the song and dance major, it was actually a bit self-defeating." Xiang Cai said mockingly, "For me, who could no longer dance ballet, the song and dance major still related to dancing, so I chose it as the next best thing.."

"But..." Xiang Cai stood up and looked into Tan Yiming's eyes, "You made me realize that sound can convey emotions."

The sound of crying, the sound of laughter, the sound of happiness, the sound of pain.

The seventeen-year-old Xiang Cai was moved by Wang Qingyun's voice. He fell asleep every night listening to his voice, imitating the tone of his lines, fantasizing that he would perform such joys and sorrows on the stage.

It was Wang Qingyun who took the boy out of his predicament in life. He helped him put on his dancing shoes and participate in the selection of Billy Elliott. When he lost, he accepted his imperfect self.

Wang Qingyun was the first to give guess a quick-beating heart in his lonely years. It might not be true love - but it was the embryonic form of love.

And now, that egg was hatched.

The boy in ballet shoes had traveled for five years. He had grown from a boy to a young man, and he has grown from his sense of inferiority to feeling self-confident.

He appeared in front of Tan Yiming, exposing everything about himself.

And what Xiang Cai wanted to know was--

"Can you accept me like this?" Xiang Cai asked softly. He lifted his wet right foot from the now-cold water basin and stepped directly on Tan Yiming's knee, leaving a dark watermark.

Xiang Cai said: "I have no family, but I have two or three confidants, and countless pairs of dance shoes that I wear. I have been in a relationship, but I don’t know how to manage one. I have been injured, not just on my feet, but more from my heart."

Xiang Cai continued: "I'm actually very impulsive and naive, but sometimes I am cautious to death."

Xiang Cai finally said: "I am no good at all, I am not the proud and outstanding little swan in your heart at all."

Tan Yiming's answer was to lift his scarred right foot and kissed it solemnly.

The hot kiss fell on Xiang Cai’s toes, and on his foot and ankle.

He kissed the crisscrossed scars on his feet, and kissed the marks left by the years.

"I love you." Tan Yiming replied, "Of course I love you, all of you."

It was never the little swan that Tan Yiming had fallen in love with.

—It was the Cai Cai who still yearned for the sky even though he had long fallen into the abyss.

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The author has something to say: Cai Cai, someone will accompany you in the future.

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